“Negotiation Secrets Resolve Conflicts”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 1050

“Negotiation Secrets Resolve Conflicts”

 

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What skills do you employ when trying to resolve conflicts? The answer should be, the same skills you use when negotiating.

Conflict resolution is a subset of negotiation and thus, the better you are at negotiating, the better you’ll be at resolving conflicts. The information that follows gives insight into how you can enhance your negotiation and conflict resolution efforts.

 Listening:  

1. 1. In any negotiation, when attempting to resolve conflicts, really understand the other person’s perspective and assess the basis for the conflict.
   2. Consider the source of the other person’s motivation that stimulates his beliefs, thoughts, and desires for the outcome he’s striving to achieve. Seek to understand his perspective at an intellectual and emotional level. Ask open-ended questions (i.e. questions that require more than a yes or no response) to solicit insight as to why he holds such beliefs to be valid.
   3. Ascertain who and/or what the source of his beliefs, thoughts, and desires are that’s generating the outcome he seeks. If you determine that there’s a vast conflict between the position you hold and his, cite sources from references that he believes to be credible, in an attempt to sway his viewpoint.

Patience:

1. 1. Prior to responding with a rebuttal, be sure you understand the gist of the other person’s position. Let him talk. The more he talks, the greater the opportunity to glean additional insight and information about his mindset.
   2. Watch rhetoric, yours and the other individual. Words have meanings and some words may convey thoughts that are   different from the intent you meant. Be sure to use words that the other person understands and applies in the same manner as you intended for him to perceive.
   3. If you are slow to respond to questions, you give the impression that you’re reflective. Answer a question too quickly and you could give the impression that you’re being flippant. Strike a balance between the two modes, based on the situation at hand.

Use of language:

1. 1. Once you understand the other negotiator’s perspective, assess the viability of his beliefs, based on the verbiage he uses. Some words, such as, “I believe” versus “I know” or “I’m sure of”, conveys the degree to which he believes his thoughts to be accurate. In observing the manner in which he uses words, you’ll be able to peer into his beliefs and begin to determine the level of commitment he has for the outcome he seeks.
   2. If you cannot oblige the outcome the other person seeks, explain in language that he can understand (use words he uses) why you can’t oblige him.
   3. Avoid using inflammatory language. An ill word cast at an inappropriate time, will deflate the conversation and most likely, create a more negative environment.

Tone and pace of voice:

1. 1. Align the tone and pace of your voice to the situation and strategy you’ve adopted. If the situation calls for a display of empathy, display it. If on the other hand, it’s more appropriate to allow the timbre of your voice to convey a more steadfast position, display that demeanor. Unless it’s part of your strategy, don’t be backed into a position you can’t, or don’t want to defend.
   2. Keep in mind, a good thought/plan delivered with the appropriate demeanor can soften rejection, or enhance acceptance.
   3. Try not to interrupt the other person when he’s speaking. Take note of how long he delivers his position and be aware of when he starts to repeat himself. Regardless of whether the other person starts to pontificate, don’t over talk him.

Just because you silence a man doesn’t mean you’ve converted him. In order to gain benefits from the resolution of a conflict, you must delve deep enough into the psychological mind of the other individual to emotionally and intellectually understand his perspective. You must know what holds sway with him; in order to do so, you have to experience his reality. Once you’re able to comprehend his perspective, you’ll be prepared to offer a solution to his situation. If the intersection between what you’re capable of delivering and what he needs intersects, success will lie at that junction … and everything will be right with the world.  Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 The Negotiation Tips Are …

• A conflict is nothing more than disparate positions. Never become mentally burdened as the result of a conflict. Understand the source of it before attempting to address it.

• In our everyday lives, we participate in conflict resolutions. If you take note and utilize some of the same tactics and strategies you employ in your negotiations, you’ll enhance your ability to resolve conflicts.

• Resolve in your mind that you’ll reduce tension in your personal and business life, by enhancing your communications with those you encounter. Become more adept at conflict resolution.

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“Dead-End Negotiations Aren’t Useless”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 1035

“Dead-End Negotiations Aren’t Useless”

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Are you aware of when you’re headed for a dead-end in a negotiation? If you recognize the signs that could lead to a dead-end early in a negotiation, you can save lots of time, energy, and headaches, by knowing when to exit and knowing how long to stay engaged to reap the benefits. Don’t consider ending the negotiation, just because it could be headed for a dead-end. You can still learn something from the negotiation.

Dead-end negotiations can be very frustrating, if you’re not aware of where a negotiation is headed before it hits a dead-end. To maximize the benefits from a dead-end negotiation observe the following:

Before the negotiation:

• As with every negotiation, set your goals for the negotiation in the planning stage. Create a strategy addressing the possibility of not reaching a successful outcome. As part of the strategy, determine what benefits you can receive by engaging in the negotiation, even though you know it may meet an untimely demise. Prioritize the benefits, so you’ll have a readymade ‘hit list’, when it’s time to maneuver out of the negotiation.

During the negotiation:

• During the negotiation, as soon as you sense you’re headed for a dead-end, at that point determine what is salvageable and beneficial to you. Take note of what might entice the other negotiator to concede items you can take from the negotiation.

• Try to comprehend why the other negotiator is not engaging in the negotiation in earnest. Based on your assessment, you’ll gain insight into how much time and effort you may wish to invest.

• Heighten your awareness of the possibility that a negotiation is headed for a dead-end, when more of a negotiation’s discussion revolves around conversations not related to the matter at hand. The more prolonged the non-pertinent discussion strays from the purpose of the negotiation, the greater the possibility the negotiation outcome will not meet your expectations. (Note: Be aware, in some cultures, it’s customary to have an extended exchange of personal information and interaction before starting the ‘real’ negotiation. While such endeavors can be time consuming, the getting to know you process is essential in adding to a more sincere exchange of information.)

After the negotiation:

• Seek insight as to what the real intent of the other negotiator’s efforts were for the negotiation. Ask yourself, what purpose was served by drawing you deeper into a negotiation that was either intended, or trended towards a dead-end. Consider what the other negotiator may have learned about your negotiation style and can use against you in the future. Assess what you learned about him, too.

When you’re negotiating and you realize your efforts are not going to bear fruit, you can still benefit from the exchange that occurs in the negotiation. Even though you will have exposed how you might react to a certain stimulus in a negotiation, hopefully, you will have gained insight that you can use, too. Try not to expose more of your demeanor than the benefits you get … and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

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 The Negotiation Tips Are …

 

• In any negotiation, attempt to control as much of the process as possible. To the degree you control the negotiation process, you’ll be better positioned to thwart efforts created to draw you into dead-ends.

• Be aware of when a negotiation may be headed for a dead-end. If you decide to remain engaged, determine what you wish to receive for your efforts (i.e. insight into how the person negotiates, strategies/tactics used, etc.). Get what you can, and then disengage.

• When confronted by the potential of a dead-end negotiation, be cautious of the amount of time you invest. Also be mindful of the mindset you maintain, once you sense a dead-end.  Don’t let your mental guard down and be dragged into an unwanted position.

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“To Negotiate Effectively Perceive Micro Expressions”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 985

 

“To Negotiate Effectively Perceive Micro Expressions”

 

When negotiating, in business or in your personal life, do you miss micro expressions? Micro expressions are actions that last between 1/25 of a second and 1 second; they’re actions unfiltered by the thought process of the mind. Knowing how to detect and perceive micro expressions, allows greater insight into someone’s mind.

If you wish to increase your negotiation advantages and heighten your awareness of the value contained in micro expressions, consider the following information.

Detecting Micro Expressions: During a negotiation, in order to perceive micro expressions, you must be attuned to the actions of the other negotiator. Thus, you must pay very close attention to his body language. The expressions he displays will give insight into the true feelings he possesses at any given point in the negotiation.

What to look for: In order to gain the most beneficial insight from micro expressions, observe gestures made by the other negotiator’s head, eyes, mouth, and feet. Each gesture can disclose a mindset different from what is expressed.

Head: Head movements can be perplexing to decipher. In detecting micro expressions with head movements, observe if the other negotiator constantly tilts his head from one side to the other. Such actions will indicate the fact that he’s weighing the thoughts that you’ve presented and is in a hurry to get through what’s being discussed.

Eyes: Take note of sudden blinking and roaming of the eyes. Such actions denote an inner searching for a course of action. The closing of the eyes for several moments indicate that the other negotiator doesn’t believe what he’s hearing and/or seeing.

Mouth: Quivers can occur in the area of the mouth with the lips. Such actions indicate a degree of stress and the fact that the other negotiator may be trying not to divulge what’s really on his mind.

Feet: The flexing of one foot, pointed in a direction away from you, can be a micro expressed insight into one’s mindset that indicates he’s displeased with what you’ve proposed. Once you sense such an action, confirm your perspective perception to insure the two of you are still on the same page.

Any negotiation can be froth with obstacles that challenge your mental capacity to remain sane. Above are just a few of the body language clues you’ll gain insight from, as the result of observing micro expressions. By incorporating the value of micro expressions into your negotiation repertoire, you’ll enhance your negotiation efforts … and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

• When observing micro expressions during a negotiation, such expressions are forthright. That’s due to the fact that micro expressions are actions not filtered by the mind, before an action is committed.

• An additional benefit of being able to detect micro expressions is the value they add to your personal life.

• By being able to detect micro expressions, you’ll be able to sense when someone is generating a genuine reservoir of good will towards you.

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

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by Greg Williams – The Master Negotiator. If you’d like more information on how you can become a savvier negotiator, click here to checkout Greg’s new book, “Negotiate: Afraid, ‘Know’ More.”

Please visit The Master Negotiator‘s website at http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com for additional information and negotiation resources for individuals and businesses.