“Dodge Being Icky To Negotiate Successfully”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 1055

“Dodge Being Icky To Negotiate Successfully”

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Are you icky when you negotiate? When negotiating, the icky factor is not only a turnoff, but it can also be the death knell of the negotiation.

With a U.S. Congressman being perceived as being icky, as the result of recently getting caught in a spectacle that was made worse by the manner in which he addressed the situation, the question becomes, what makes one appear to be icky?

If you wish to avoid the perception of being icky in your negotiations, observe the following four insights.

Actions That Give The Appearance Of Being Icky:

Each negotiation situation is different from another. Thus, a myriad of factors can come into play, when attempting to isolate the icky factor. Nevertheless, there are constants involved in a negotiation that dictate what icky appears to be and what it feels like. Avoiding a direct question, especially when it’s posed several times, can heighten someone’s senses and enhance the impression that you’re not being forthright, which can lead to the thought that you’re icky. Another icky factor can be the way you speak. If you speak too fast or too slowly to someone that’s attuned to listening at a different pace, you can conjure up the image of one that’s ‘out of step’. Such actions can also create the impression that you’re evasive and thus, icky.

The Perception Of Being Icky:

Being perceived as icky stems from offending the sensibility of the person to whom you’re speaking. Such actions can occur from the manner in which you position your proposal, the perceived bravado in which you delivery it, and the background of the other person. To avoid such perceptions, take into consideration how you’re perceived when negotiating and adopt mannerisms that are appropriate for the environment.

Talking Too Long:

In any situation, if you discuss a subject too long, you run the risk of losing whatever goodwill you’ve generated. It’s better to communicate with certitude, in order to avoid the appearance of being perceived as icky. When you’re in a tenuous position, to avoid being perceived as icky during a negotiation, try to be as transparent as possible. If your behavior is perceived to be out of line with the manner in which it should be, the other negotiator may perceive something as not being right. He may not realize that he’s sensing his emotions at a subliminal level, but his gut will instinctively alert him to proceed with caution. If you project an image that causes him to experience such feelings, you’ll be alienating him, while simultaneously digging a deeper proverbial hole from which it may become extremely difficult to extricate yourself.

Gain Insight:

You can gain insight into the manner that someone perceives your actions by the way they respond to you. If they think you’re not being straightforward, they’ll display body language signals, such as leaning away from you, putting their hand over their mouth when you or they speak, and/or casting a look that you’ll perceive as being troubling. In essence, they’ll be dispelling what you say. If you sense such an action and you’re being forthright, question their perception of your sincerity. If there’s a need for clarification do so before proceeding with your position.

To assist in projecting the proper demeanor for your negotiations, alert your body to what mood you’d like to project. Then, observe the synchronization between your body language/mannerisms, and the way you’re perceived. If everything is in harmony, the other negotiator should perceive your sincerity… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 The Negotiation Tips Are …

• To enhance the probability of being successful in your negotiations, avoid being perceived as icky.

• Anyone can misperceive a situation. If you sense your sincerity is being questioned, alert the other negotiator to what you perceive. Don’t allow the situation to go unheeded. To do so could be paramount to flirting with danger, needlessly.

• In any negotiation, negotiators may not see eye to eye on certain points. If you take the time and you’re skillful at decreasing the icky factor, you’ll increase your likeability factor. In turn, subliminally, you’ll enhance the negotiation process.

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©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“Always Value ‘Optics’ When You Negotiate”

 

 

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 765

 

“Always Value ‘Optics’ When You Negotiate”

 

When you negotiate, do you consider the ‘optics’ that you and your actions project? You should always consider them in any situation, especially when negotiating.

‘Optics’ are the way in which a situation could be viewed or perceived by those with whom you’re negotiating, based on your physical appearance and that by which you’re adorned. In essence, the reason you should be cognizant of the ‘optics’ you project is due to the message that ‘optics’ send. As an example, if you were negotiating and claimed not to have an abundance of financial resources, you should not arrive at a negotiation location in a convoy of vehicles; nor should you arrive in clothing adorned with the spectacles befitting someone of royalty.

Consider the ‘optics’ of the following situations and assess the messages they send.

Situation Number 1:

A man boards an airplane from one country, destined for Detroit Michigan in the US. This occurs in winter, and he has no coat (It gets very cold in Detroit in winter). That by itself may not draw attention. When coupled with other data, such as …

• his father telling US officials that his son (the man in question) had been radicalized  
• the man in question buying a one-way ticket and paying for it with cash  
• the man having no luggage, etc ..

 

adds up to create a picture (‘optics’) of someone that might not have the best of intentions. In this case, the ‘optics’ were aligned with the ill intentions of this man’s intended actions. Those were the ‘optics’ presented by the person that attempted to ignite a bomb on the Delta flight destined for Detroit over the Christmas holiday.

The point is, when the ‘optics’ don’t match what is ‘normal’ in a situation, attention should be drawn to the possible visual inconsistencies of those ‘optics’.

Situation Number 2:

In the US, some of the largest financial institutions, that received bailout dollars from the US federal government, are in the process of giving huge bonuses to the top-level echelon of those in their organizations. Had the federal government not bailed out those institutions, they might have collapsed. In addition, earmarked monies were never filtered down that were to stimulate opportunities for other industries throughout the US from the corporations receiving bailout funds.

Think about these ‘optics’ …

• large corporation giving out huge bonuses to high level corporate management
• the government helping the corporations in question, out of a ‘jam’ that many say the corporations created
• funds not being applied to assist other industries in need

No matter how you ‘view it’, the overall ‘optics’ appear to be, ‘out of focus’, on behalf of the government and the corporations!

You’ve heard that a picture is worth a thousand words. In order to improve your negotiation efforts, carefully construct the image (‘optics’) that you wish to project and nurture it throughout the negotiation. Also be mindful of how future actions stemming from the negotiation will be viewed. By doing so, you’ll convey consistency with your negotiation position, which will add to your believability, which in turn will enhance the believability of your position … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

• Remember, even after a negotiation has concluded, you cast an image. Make sure those ‘optics’ are consistent with the overall image of the position you projected throughout the negotiation.
• If you observe inconsistencies between ‘optics’ projected by the other negotiator, you’ll gain nonverbal insight and receive additional information from which you can use to negotiate.
• Since image and the ‘optics’ you project play such a vital role in a negotiation, always be very mindful of how you construct your image and give thought to how that image will be received and perceived. Those that are astute to such imagery will discern nonverbal information from your appearance and that which surrounds you.   

 

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©MMIX Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator), All rights reserved.

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by Greg Williams – The Master Negotiator. If you’d like more information on how you can boost your negotiation skills, contact Greg by e-mail and click here to checkout Greg’s new book, “Negotiate: Afraid, ‘Know’ More.”

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