“Use Power Words Shrewdly To Negotiate Successfully”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 1065

“Use Power Words Shrewdly To Negotiate Successfully”

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Words have power and in a negotiation, you’re perceived as being more powerful when you shrewdly use words that the other negotiator perceives as possessing strength.

When we speak, our words have an impact on the person with whom we’re conversing. Thus, we affect that person from a negative, or positive perspective, based on what we say, how we say it, and the manner in which it’s perceived. If you want your negotiations to be successful, discover how and when to use power words that influence the other negotiator and implement the following suggestions.

1.    Using power words:

Power words are words that convey a stronger commitment to a position than words that would leave the listener in a precarious state of mind, related to a less than stringent perception that he otherwise might have. Some words, convey a less than strong commitment to a position (i.e. maybe, try, might, possibly, I think). In addition, by using such words, you weaken your position, while leaving yourself open to challenges. To be perceived as possessing a stronger commitment to your negotiation position, use words that convey more conviction (i.e. I know, success, will do, guarantee).

Note: To be perceived as being stronger, speak to what you’re for, not for what you’re against. Manage the level of negativity that could seep into the negotiation.

2.    Before the negotiation:

Prior to the negotiation, ask yourself, what demeanor you wish to project and how much power you want to convey in the negotiation. If you project an image that’s too strong, or overbearing, you can alienate the other negotiator. Therefore, you have to measure the degrees of power carried by your words. Your words must be compatible with the manner in which the other negotiator is accustomed to receiving such messages and have the same meaning as he understands their conveyance.

 3.    Body language:

 Being able to read and interpret body language gives a negotiator an advantage. Even when you use the appropriate words to match the situation, you still have to deliver those words in a manner that’s perceived as being in alignment with the actions of your body. If the situation does not call for it, avoid the appearance of being perceived as brash. You don’t want to have the other negotiator be in agreement with your position, only to have him back away, because he adopts a feeling of buyer’s remorse, due to a misalignment between your words and actions.

4.    Assumptive questions used for power:   

 When negotiating, there are ways to use questions to gather additional information, to which the other negotiator assumes you already have the answers. This tactic is called using assumptive questions.

Assumptive questions are secondary questions that bypass an initial question that implies you already know the answer to the question that was bypassed (e.g. What led you to lowering your price in the past?). In a non-assumptive question environment, the initial question would be, have you lowered your price in the past?

By asking the assumptive question, what led you to lowering your price in the past, you give the impression that you know the other negotiator lowered his price at some point. When placed in such a position, the other negotiator will go into reflective mode, in an attempt to determine if you’re aware of the fact that he lowered his price in the past. Even if he states that he did not lower his price in the past, you’ve gain additional information about his negotiation position, and thus the reason this tactic is so powerful.

5.    Conclusion:

From your words comes power. If you lack the vocabulary to convey your message in a strong and succinct manner, equip yourself with the verbiage that will be required to gain the upper hand. Learn the language of success as it pertains to the person with whom you’re negotiating.

Sometimes, you have to tell yourself, yes I can. Then, believe it. You don’t have to accept the plight of a negative outcome in a negotiation, if you chose not to. If you use the words that convey your negotiation position with power and do so succinctly, you’ll control the direction of the negotiation. In so doing, you’ll lead the negotiation in the direction you want it to take, which will enhance the probability of a successful outcome … and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 

The Negotiation Tips Are …

• Words can convey power, but words without synchronized body language can lead to confusion. If you wish to be perceived as being more credible, be sure your words, body language, and actions are aligned with the message you deliver.

• In a negotiation, silence can be golden, but even when being silent, you’re still sending a message.

• When negotiating, sometimes you have to escalate your rhetoric in order to disengage and be in a stronger position for the next phase in the negotiation. In such a position, use words that express power and subliminally you’ll send a stronger message.

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“Containment Strategies Resolve Hostile Negotiations”

You can obtain more in life by negotiating better. Discover how to do so effortlessly.

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 1060

“Containment Strategies Resolve Hostile Negotiations”

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When you’re involved in a hostile negotiation, what strategies do you employ? Do you attempt to contain the hostility? Every negotiation takes on the characteristics of the people participating in the negotiation. If the negotiators display a demeanor that’s arrogant or mean-spirited, the tone of the negotiation will trend in that direction, unless mitigating circumstances are implemented to prevent such occurrences. At that point, you should implement containment strategies to alter the mood of the negotiation.

To discover how to use containment strategies in your negotiations, continue below.

What are containment strategies …

Containment strategies are tactics used to alter the mood of an irate negotiator and/or a negotiator that purports to be dismayed about a position adopted by the other negotiator. Thus, containment strategies keep a negotiation progressing down a prescribed path.

What constitutes a hostile negotiation …

A hostile negotiation can be depicted as one in which participants exhibit aggressive and antagonistic behavior that’s displayed during the negotiation.

Note: One negotiator could perceive the other as being hostile, while the accused negotiator might perceive his actions as being tough, rough, or  less than friendly, but not hostile. He may not care how the other negotiator feels about the mannerisms he displays while negotiating. If he envisions his actions as being non-hostile, that might depict a mindset that may be more difficult to alter, then someone that knows he’s being hostile and intends to negotiate in such a manner.

What strategies can one employ to contain a negotiation …

You can alienate the negotiator that’s projecting a hostile attitude from the base that supports him. That base would consist of stakeholders that have a vested interest in the outcome of the negotiation. To apply containment in this manner, you must increase pressure on the negotiator’s negative behavior to the point that it becomes too costly for him to maintain such a position. The overlying implication would be, if he continued the negative behavior that he’s displaying, he’ll lose the outcome that his stakeholders would like to achieve. By implying that his actions may kill the deal, you’ll be driving a wedge between him and his support system, thus isolating him. Once you’ve increased the level of discomfort to that degree, he should be prepared to be more amenable to your offers.

Another form of containment can come in the form of good cop, bad cop. This scenario is accomplished with your negotiation partner adopting the good cop (easy to get along with) or bad cop (difficult to deal with) role. Whichever role he adopts, you adopt the opposite role. The bad cop acts indignant and very antagonistic. If you’re playing the good cop role, at some point, excuse the bad cop from the room and offer alternative positions that the other negotiator may not find as favorable as he’d like, but he should perceive your offer as being significantly better than the bad cop. Given the two choices, the other negotiator will be more apt to accept your offer.

Containment from a defensive position …

One strategy that’s been around for centuries is the ‘attack from a defensive position’. It entails positioning your opponent with an enticing verbal and/or nonverbal position, from which he has to respond from an attacking perspective. By placing him in such a position, he becomes the one that has to go on the defensive.

Some negotiators are very adept at utilizing this tactic to alter the course and flow of the negotiation to their advantage. To guard against such occurrences and provide containment, anticipate how the other negotiator might employ this tactic and be prepared to rebuke it. In essence, be prepared to pull a double defensive move, his being the first and yours being the second.

The world looks a lot better from behind a smile. When negotiating, if you cannot get the other negotiator to manifest a smile and display a non-hostile demeanor, attempt to contain his aggressiveness. The better you are at resolving hostile negotiations, the further your negotiation efforts will take you. In so doing, more successful negotiation outcomes will await you … and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 The Negotiation Tips Are …

• Some people fail to see an opportunity, until it no longer avails itself. By utilizing containment strategies, you afford the other negotiator a glimpse of the positive outcome he could achieve, if he alters his demeanor to one that is more cooperative.

• By using containment strategies in your negotiation, you’ll enhance the probability of achieving your goals, while controlling the flow of the negotiation.

• Used correctly, containment strategies will save your mental state of mind.

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“Dodge Being Icky To Negotiate Successfully”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 1055

“Dodge Being Icky To Negotiate Successfully”

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Are you icky when you negotiate? When negotiating, the icky factor is not only a turnoff, but it can also be the death knell of the negotiation.

With a U.S. Congressman being perceived as being icky, as the result of recently getting caught in a spectacle that was made worse by the manner in which he addressed the situation, the question becomes, what makes one appear to be icky?

If you wish to avoid the perception of being icky in your negotiations, observe the following four insights.

Actions That Give The Appearance Of Being Icky:

Each negotiation situation is different from another. Thus, a myriad of factors can come into play, when attempting to isolate the icky factor. Nevertheless, there are constants involved in a negotiation that dictate what icky appears to be and what it feels like. Avoiding a direct question, especially when it’s posed several times, can heighten someone’s senses and enhance the impression that you’re not being forthright, which can lead to the thought that you’re icky. Another icky factor can be the way you speak. If you speak too fast or too slowly to someone that’s attuned to listening at a different pace, you can conjure up the image of one that’s ‘out of step’. Such actions can also create the impression that you’re evasive and thus, icky.

The Perception Of Being Icky:

Being perceived as icky stems from offending the sensibility of the person to whom you’re speaking. Such actions can occur from the manner in which you position your proposal, the perceived bravado in which you delivery it, and the background of the other person. To avoid such perceptions, take into consideration how you’re perceived when negotiating and adopt mannerisms that are appropriate for the environment.

Talking Too Long:

In any situation, if you discuss a subject too long, you run the risk of losing whatever goodwill you’ve generated. It’s better to communicate with certitude, in order to avoid the appearance of being perceived as icky. When you’re in a tenuous position, to avoid being perceived as icky during a negotiation, try to be as transparent as possible. If your behavior is perceived to be out of line with the manner in which it should be, the other negotiator may perceive something as not being right. He may not realize that he’s sensing his emotions at a subliminal level, but his gut will instinctively alert him to proceed with caution. If you project an image that causes him to experience such feelings, you’ll be alienating him, while simultaneously digging a deeper proverbial hole from which it may become extremely difficult to extricate yourself.

Gain Insight:

You can gain insight into the manner that someone perceives your actions by the way they respond to you. If they think you’re not being straightforward, they’ll display body language signals, such as leaning away from you, putting their hand over their mouth when you or they speak, and/or casting a look that you’ll perceive as being troubling. In essence, they’ll be dispelling what you say. If you sense such an action and you’re being forthright, question their perception of your sincerity. If there’s a need for clarification do so before proceeding with your position.

To assist in projecting the proper demeanor for your negotiations, alert your body to what mood you’d like to project. Then, observe the synchronization between your body language/mannerisms, and the way you’re perceived. If everything is in harmony, the other negotiator should perceive your sincerity… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

 The Negotiation Tips Are …

• To enhance the probability of being successful in your negotiations, avoid being perceived as icky.

• Anyone can misperceive a situation. If you sense your sincerity is being questioned, alert the other negotiator to what you perceive. Don’t allow the situation to go unheeded. To do so could be paramount to flirting with danger, needlessly.

• In any negotiation, negotiators may not see eye to eye on certain points. If you take the time and you’re skillful at decreasing the icky factor, you’ll increase your likeability factor. In turn, subliminally, you’ll enhance the negotiation process.

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Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“To Negotiate Successfully Perceive Genuine Anger Using Micro Expressions”

 

 

How to Read and Use Body Language When Negotiating

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 995

 

“To Negotiate Successfully Perceive Genuine Anger Using Micro Expressions”

 

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Glimpsing anger, via the use of micro expressions, is a unique way of gaining insight into someone’s real emotional state of mind. That’s due to the fact that micro expressions are not filtered by the mind, before an emotional act is committed. Thus, the emotions displayed via micro expressions are not contrived.

There are seven emotions expressed through micro expressions: anger, disgust, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, and contempt.

This article explores the emotion of anger when used in a negotiation. In particular, it explores how anger is expressed, how to detect it, and how to utilize the recognition of it during a negotiation by using micro expressions (note: the same methods of detection and utilization can also be used in your personal endeavors).

Once a negotiator recognizes signals that highlight a micro expressed action, that negotiator attains a huge advantage when interacting with people. When negotiating, the advantage almost becomes unfair. To gain such an advantage, consider discovering and detecting real anger in your negotiations by utilizing micro expressions.

During any negotiation, participants involved in the negotiation will possess and display a wide range of emotions. In some cases, it may not behoove the negotiator that’s angered to express his demeanor, for fear of divulging a hidden position that he does not wish to have exposed. In so doing, he may try to portray a different demeanor in an attempt to conceal his real emotion.

To detect anger by using micro expressions, observe an intense appearance in the eyes (that might be akin to someone staring/looking through you), eyebrows down and together, and a narrowing of the lips. In this emotional state of mind, the other negotiator’s eyes, while focused on you, are also being used as an introspective reflection of the thoughts being discussed. It’s another indicator that the other negotiator is fixated on the thoughts that are angering and confronting him. Once you sense genuine anger, validate your findings by addressing your perception with the other negotiator and the reasoning behind his anger.

Anger can cause the rational process of thinking to be abandoned. Thus, when one is genuinely angered, one does not think as clearly as would otherwise be the case. By harnessing the power of micro expressions, you’ll be able to detect if anger is being used as a tool of evasiveness, or to create ambiguity. With that detection ability as an ally, you’ll decrease the probability of being thwarted by false ploys. This in turn will allow you to be more successful when negotiating … and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

• Anger serves the purpose of changing one’s demeanor. In a negotiation, you must maintain mental control of your environment. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by the false pretense of anger.

• Micro expressions allow you to unearth potential problems in a negotiation. To be successful, heighten your senses when detecting anger in a negotiation.

• Determine the genuineness of anger by learning how to interpret micro expressions.

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMXI Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator/Body Language Expert), All rights reserved.

“Everybody Lies When Negotiating. Do You?”

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Negotiation Tip of the Week

# 880

“Everybody Lies When Negotiating. Do You?”

(Take the ‘mock’ 30 second ‘Liars Test’ at the end of this ‘Tip’. It’s fun!)

When you negotiate, do you lie? Please, don’t even think about becoming indignant. Everybody lies when negotiating, for one reason or another. If you say you don’t lie, you’re lying!

Depending upon what someone is trying to achieve, some lie substantially more than others. Some people believe, when they’re negotiating, if they tell a ‘white’ lie, it’s OK. Some believe, a successful negotiation outcome justifies the mean, and thus they do what is necessary to accomplish the goal.

You can be more successful during negotiations, by being aware of what motivates people to lie. Below are a few reasons people lie and how you might assist them to tell the truth.

Seven reasons why people lie when negotiating:

1. To keep from exposing a weakness
2. To keep from being confronted by the truth (OK, this falls under the heading of Duh! However, can you discern why the other negotiator feels mentally enslaved by the thought that an altered truth presents?)
3. Avoid the embarrassment that a bigger lie reveals
4. Not sure to what degree they may be devalued if the truth is divulged
5. To enhance the value by which they’re perceived
6. Entice or entrap the other negotiator to move from one negotiation position to another
7. To protect the emotional feelings of someone else

How to protect yourself and detect when people are lying:

• When you know why someone might be lying, you can probe his or her story for details. In this case, there are two considerations to keep in mind; one is too much detail, the other is too little detail. The negotiator that’s adept at lying knows in order to be convincing, he has to blend the right mixture of detail. He knows if he talks too much, he’ll begin to divulge points that will allow the other negotiator to find ‘holes’ in his story. On the other hand, he’s aware that too little detail displays the fact that he may be ‘forging the truth’ with embellishments.
• Observe the other negotiators mannerisms to detect a change. Then, note why you think the change may have occurred. Don’t question him about the change initially. Wait to uncover other perceptible alterations of the truth. Once you’ve accumulated sufficient feedback, question him as to why he altered his mannerism. Then, observe his body language and delivery of information, seeking signs that display his uneasiness with the conversation. If he begins to glance away as he’s speaking, playing/fingering objects nearby as he’s talking, feigning offense for your supposedly transgression, tugging at his collar, stammering, or other behavior that indicates he’s uncomfortable, he’s lying and knows you’ve caught him. At that point, you can provide a solution that alleviates his discomfort.

This article wasn’t written to pass judgment on anyone. The article was written to make the reader more successful when negotiating, and to raise the awareness level to the fact that lies occur during negotiations. To that, some may say, “I’m already aware that lies occur during negotiations”. You may realize that lies occur during a negotiation, but the savvy negotiator learns to detect, defuse, and defend against a lie throughout the negotiation process.

When you become adept at detecting lies and the underlying reasoning that causes them to become injected into a negotiation, you’ll be better equipped to progress the negotiation down a path that leads to a successful outcome … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

Liars Test:

When negotiating (for anything) …

• Have you ever ‘altered’ a story to enhance its appeal? (That’s called, lying. Always remember that you lie and others lie too.)
• Have you ever told someone you’d assist them, only to find a ‘convenient’ excuse to back out of the commitment? (If you try to explain away your reason you lied, and others have done so when they did so to you.)
• Prior to ‘altering’ the truth, have you ever considered the ‘size’ of a lie, to determine its viability? (If so, you compared the lie you were contemplating to one you already told. Thus, you’ve lied in the past. This was a ‘trick’ question. )

Special Offer:

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more of what you deserve out of life.  Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.

©MMX Greg Williams (The Master Negotiator), All rights reserved.

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by Greg Williams – The Master Negotiator. If you’d like more information on how you can become a savvier negotiator, click here to checkout Greg’s new book, “Negotiate: Afraid, ‘Know’ More.”

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